gonna eat ya

slipstreamborne:

slipstreamborne:

Update musings and fan theories ahooooy. 

So as Homestuck has a thing with parallels and inversions and foreshadowing/outright telling the reader what will happen far, far in advance, only for that information to be mostly forgotten by the reader until it comes back around again in relevancy, here is my theory on Dirk’s fate:

Not being as great at multi-tasking as he thinks he is, Dirk is so invested on keeping his and Roxy’s dream selves alive that his waking body is killed. 

But not to worry.  He has at least two other artificial selves in play:  AR, which we’ve been told has grown enough on his own for the past three years that they’re not quite the same people, and the robot he sent Jake.  And thanks to Aradia, spirits/souls/dreamselves/what-have-you inhabiting robotic bodies has already been established.  As has a specific action relating to hearts. 

Theory:  Dream!Dirk inhabits Brobot, only to be confronted by an unknowing Jake, prepared to battle Brobot for his uranium heart.  Knowing that Jake needs the uranium to send John’s present, he rips it out himself to give to him.  Like so: 

TT: What does he have to do to make you at ease with the alkaline sting of his gentle robogrope? I really want to know.

TT: Maybe he should just rip his heart out of his chest and pound it into green gravel there in the jungle with his hella strong robot arm.TT: Invoke_Onomatopoeia(Pound * some ridiculously precise value retrieved at astonishing speed from my rad neural net);
 

TT: Check it out, little green rocks all over the goddamn place. More than you could ever hope to cram in a shoddy metal rabbit, or any other pliable orifice which might be convenient.
 

TT: Because clearly its up to a soulless droid to feel emotions for the both of us, you callous, corporeal carbon ape, all trotting around with your fancy fuckin’ DNA and shit.

And maybe there’s enough uranium left over to piece back together a new heart for the Prince of Heart, and maybe not.  And maybe this follows Dirk’s confession of his feelings for Jake, and maybe it is the confession.  And maybe Jake understands, and maybe he doesn’t. 

And maybe, in the absence of any other version of Dirk, AR is left to continue on, and he finds a body that he can control and, with his epic processing speed, can animate to appear lifelike in the same way that Bro was able to give life and movement to Li’l Cal.

What I’m saying is.

Maybe Bro.

Beta!Bro.

Was a puppet.

ALL. ALONG.

ETA:  And now he’s not exactly dead just kinda in the hands of Bec Noir FUCK FUCK FUCK SHIIIIIT shutting up now. 

Reblogging to add:

This would also explain why there’s no food in the fridge and why the kitchen as a whole is “pretty much useless”.  No need for AR-controlled-puppet-Bro to eat. 

Also explains how he’s able to keep track of his content aggregator. 

Also puts an extra fucking sad spin on the first part of this comic.

And would set up nicely for a reflection/repeat of the whole “god dammit I am the real dave” conversation between John and Davesprite, but this time between AR and Jake or AR and Dave. 

This theory is absolutely fucking stunning and is pretty much the only alternative I will happily embrace if Auto-Respondersprite doesn’t happen.

It’s really difficult to tell where Hussie is going to go with the parallels, foreshadowing, and whatnot. He could go with a brilliantly executed mirror to previous events, or he could take the entire thing and just blow it right the hell up. I think this theory in particular would be an absolutely riveting inversion of the betaverse, especially if it winds up with Dirksprite (which is a parallel to Jadebot and Jadesprite) and Auto-responder as the fourth player, or something similarly subversive.

I think that the part with the uranium heart is another beautifully elegant bit of material that could play right into his hero class, especially since he would possibly be giving his heart emotionally AND literally to Jake. The implications of that are just inspiring.

Also beta!Bro as a robot is such a fascinating theory, and could totally be a possibility considering everything that slipstreamborne has pointed out (no food in the fridge, the fact that he can stand on and slice a meteor in half…..), and also the color of his notes

Might be a tiny stretch built on unimportant canon material, but it would be fascinating nonetheless. Especially because it would be so hard to tell, since Homestuck robots have blood too.